A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
