She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
