how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize