I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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