And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
