don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
