I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
