remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
