You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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