You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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