I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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