I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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