take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize