Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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