feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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