WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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