Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
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if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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