people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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