My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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