Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
