I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize