and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can you bring me the toilet please
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
