C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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