My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
