Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
