You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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