I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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