I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drunk is not a location!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize