8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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