i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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