So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
