I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
