Can i not drive my cunt home
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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