Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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