put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
