she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
