i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
