I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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