yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
