If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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