We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
