oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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