Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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