I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
