STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
