So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
