theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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