Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
