I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
