I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
