Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
