I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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