i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
