dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
