i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
