called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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