i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan