glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.