Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
COCAINE IS GR8
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
