My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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