Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Your dad touched me again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
