In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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