well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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