Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
