you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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