sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
